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Gratitude in the Moment or at the End of the Day? Why I’ve Stopped Choosing One
- chrisruszkiewicz
- Apr 8
- 4 min read
For years, I believed that gratitude had to be structured—something I did with a pen in hand at the end of the day. The idea of spontaneous gratitude seemed... well, a bit too loose. If it wasn’t written down, did it even count?
Then something shifted.
After reading more research and observing patterns in both my clients and myself, I started wondering: What if it doesn’t have to be either/or? What if the real power comes from combining both?
Over the past two weeks, I’ve done exactly that—expressing gratitude in the moment and capturing it in a journal at the end of the day—and the results have been striking.
Let me share what I’ve discovered—and how it might change the way you approach gratitude in your daily life and business.
Why Gratitude Timing Matters
Gratitude isn’t just a warm fuzzy feeling. It’s a psychological tool backed by neuroscience and emotional intelligence research.
But timing plays a huge role in how gratitude shapes your mindset, your stress response, and your relationships.
So what’s the difference?
Gratitude in the Moment
This is the spontaneous, real-time appreciation for a kind word, a beautiful moment, or a breakthrough with a client. It’s raw. It’s alive. And it activates parts of the brain connected to empathy, reward, and connection.
When I paused during a client call last week and said, “I just want to acknowledge how committed you are to growth, even when it's hard,” I wasn’t checking a gratitude box. I was living it—and I saw the immediate emotional impact it had.
Gratitude at the End of the Day
This is structured reflection. It allows you to reframe your day, notice what mattered most, and strengthen the story you tell yourself about your life and business.
Some nights, I’ll write about something I didn’t fully appreciate in the moment—like how someone from the Exactly What to Say® community showed up unexpectedly to help me navigate a challenge. In the moment, I was focused on solving the issue. But when I reflected later, I felt a wave of appreciation for their generosity and presence. That’s the beauty of journaling—it gives you a second chance to let gratitude really land.
What the Research Reveals
Here’s what the data says:
🧠 Real-time gratitude (or “state gratitude”) enhances emotional regulation, deepens social bonds, and rewires your brain to notice more of the good as it happens.
📔 Gratitude journaling, especially over time, increases resilience, sleep quality, and optimism. It also improves your ability to find meaning in challenges—something we all need as business owners and leaders.
But here’s the twist: combining both practices offers the strongest results.
Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory suggests that positive emotions like gratitude help us build lasting internal resources. When you express gratitude in the moment and reflect on it later, you’re doubling down on that resource-building effect.
How Exactly What to Say® Fits In
As an Exactly What to Say® Certified Guide, one of the most powerful things I teach is how language can change minds—especially our own.
Gratitude, when spoken in the moment, is a form of perspective-shifting language. It’s a “magic moment” where you help yourself or someone else see a situation through a new, more empowering lens.
It’s not just about saying thank you—it’s about using the right words at the right time to spark connection and impact.
✨ Instead of just “thank you,” I might say:
“You didn’t have to do that—and I really noticed.”
✨ Or to myself, in a moment of overwhelm:
“What’s one thing I’m truly grateful for in this moment?”
Those small shifts change the emotional tone of a day—and that’s the core of what I coach leaders to do: shift their focus, find clarity, and take aligned action.
Why “Both” Is Best: My Two-Week Experiment
Here’s what happened when I practiced both:
Increased awareness – I started noticing more positive moments as they were happening. It was like I’d tuned my brain to a new frequency.
Deeper reflection – Writing at night became richer, more detailed. I wasn’t searching for things to be grateful for—they were already front-of-mind.
Stronger connections – Expressing gratitude in real-time created authentic connection and reinforced trust, both personally and professionally.
Better energy management – On tough days, those micro-moments of in-the-moment gratitude became powerful resets.
Try This: A Simple Gratitude Practice You Can Start Today
You don’t need more time—you just need more intention.
Here’s a two-step daily practice you can try:
Step 1: In-the-Moment Noticing
Pick one part of your day where you’ll be present and intentional. A conversation, a walk, a client meeting.
Ask: What am I grateful for right now? Then, speak it—or feel it—fully.
Step 2: End-of-Day Reflection
Each night, jot down 1–3 things you appreciated that day. Bonus: include one thing you didn’t notice in the moment.
Use specific language (remember: “Exactly What to Say” matters!).
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Choose
If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s better to be grateful now or later—you’re asking the wrong question.
It’s not either/or.
It’s both/and.
And when you bring intention and language together, you don’t just change your mindset. You change your experience of life—and how others experience you.
That’s the kind of transformation I want for every client I coach and every leader I support.
Want help building practices like this into your life, business, or client conversations? Let’s talk.
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