What Are You Working So Hard For?

This weekend gave me two very different reminders about time.

On Saturday, we celebrated Gary's 70th birthday surrounded by family and friends. Eight years ago this month, we were told he had ALS, that he might have six months, and that he should get his affairs in order.

This weekend, he was here to celebrate 70.

The next day, I spent the day with my 88-year-old mom, one of my daughters-in-law and two of Mom's great-grandchildren. We told Mom it was her day and she could choose whatever she wanted to do.

She chose the apple and pumpkin farm.

We took a hayride, got lost in the corn maze, bought caramel apples and apple pie, and eventually ended up at Pizza Ranch for pizza, chicken and some serious arcade time.

At 88, Mom walked more than 3,000 steps with her great-grandchildren.

Driving home, I kept thinking about what she had really chosen when we gave her the choice.

She chose time.

Time having fun with people she loves.

And it left me thinking about something I see often in business, and something I've certainly experienced myself.

We can spend an enormous amount of our lives working hard to create the things we say matter most while giving those very things whatever time happens to be left over.

What Is All This Work Supposed to Make Possible?

If you're an experienced real estate agent, you probably have goals.

Maybe it's a certain number of transactions, a GCI goal, a bigger profit margin or enough money in reserve that you don't feel quite so much pressure when the market changes.

Those numbers matter. A business needs to be profitable.

But what would having that make possible for you?

More time with your family? Travel? A lake house? Less financial pressure? The ability to help your kids? More freedom over your schedule? The energy to enjoy your life instead of spending most of it recovering from your work?

The answer will be different for everyone.

That's why I think the question What do you really want? matters so much.

Not what should you want. Not what another successful agent has built. Not what the next production award says success is supposed to look like.

What do you want?

Because once you're clear about that, you have a much better way to decide what belongs in your business.

Something Can Work and Still Not Belong in Your Business

This is where things can get uncomfortable.

There are a lot of ways to generate business in real estate. Some of them work extremely well.

But could it be possible that something can produce business and still not belong in your business?

An activity may generate leads and still require more time or energy than you're willing to give it. A strategy may work beautifully for another agent and feel completely wrong for you. Something you've done for years may still produce a result, but the result may no longer justify what it costs you.

That doesn't make the strategy bad.

It means you get to decide whether it belongs in the business you're trying to build.

The question changes from Does this work? to something more useful:

Does this help me build the business and the life I said I wanted?

That's a very different filter.

Look at Your Calendar

Our calendars can reveal quite a bit about what we've decided matters.

When business feels uncertain, work can easily claim every available opening. There is always another call to make, another email to answer, another lead to follow up with or another idea we could try.

Then family dinner gets squeezed in somewhere.

Exercise happens if there's time.

The person we keep meaning to call gets pushed to next week.

The afternoon we wanted to spend with someone we love disappears because something more “urgent” came up.

Urgency is a poor business model.

And it can be a poor way to build a life.

This is why I believe personal time belongs on the calendar first.

Not because work doesn't matter.

Because the things you're working for matter too.

Putting Life First Doesn't Mean Working Less

I can already hear the objection.

That's great, Chris, but I need business. I can't afford to work less right now.

I'm not suggesting you do.

There are seasons when building a business requires a lot from us. Sometimes we need to make more calls, have more conversations, follow up more consistently or put in additional hours.

The distinction is focus.

What happens when the time you've chosen to work is truly work time?

When you know what deserves your attention, you're rested enough to think clearly, and you're not carrying the resentment or pressure that comes from feeling as though work has consumed everything else, focused time can be incredibly productive.

You may discover you don't need to give work every available hour.

You need to give the right work your attention during the hours you've decided to work.

That may also mean looking at your systems and asking what can be simplified, delegated, revised or eliminated. It may mean stopping something that works because you've decided the cost is too high.

This isn't about squeezing more productivity into every minute.

It's about becoming more intentional with the minutes you have.

Put the Life on the Calendar First

Maybe that's what these last few days reminded me.

Eight years ago, we didn't know whether Gary would see another birthday.

This weekend, we celebrated 70.

My mom is 88. When we gave her an entire day and told her she could choose what she wanted, she chose to spend it having fun with her family.

Life can be painfully short.

And sometimes, wonderfully, it can be very long.

We don't know which we'll get.

But we do have some say in what receives our attention while we're here.

So before you fill next week's calendar with everything your business needs from you, perhaps begin somewhere else.

Schedule the family dinner.

Block the grandkids' game.

Make room for the workout, the walk, the date night, the afternoon with your mom or the time that is entirely your own.

Put the life on the calendar first.

Then look at the time you've chosen to work and decide what truly deserves to be there.

Because the goal isn't simply to build a successful business.

It's to build a successful business on your terms, supporting the life you actually want to live.

And perhaps the best place to begin is with one very practical question:

Before everything else gets a place on your calendar this week, what deserves to go there first?

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Chris Ruszkiewicz is an Exactly What to Say® Certified Guide and the founder of CMR Coaching & Consulting, a founding partner of Keller Williams Realty Milwaukee, and an Executive Business Coach with 32 years of experience in sales, negotiation, and leadership.