Resilience Gets You Through. What Moves You Forward?

Resilience may get you through. Clarity helps you decide where you're going.

There's a lot of conversation about resilience in real estate right now, and for good reason.

If you've been in this business for any length of time, you've experienced changing markets, shifting expectations, and plenty of situations that didn't go according to plan. You've learned to adapt, solve problems, and keep going when things get difficult.

And right now, there's plenty to navigate.

Finding the next client, getting listings sold, maintaining consistent income, and deciding where to invest your time and money can create enormous pressure. Add the constant stream of new strategies, technology, and advice about what you should be doing, and it's understandable that even experienced agents are feeling overwhelmed.

The message we're hearing is to be resilient. Stay strong. Keep your head down and do the work.

There's value in that advice. Resilience matters, especially when the path forward is uncertain.

But after more than 32 years in real estate, and through my work coaching experienced agents and business owners, I've come to believe there's another question we need to ask.

What if the challenge isn't finding the strength to keep going, but deciding what's worth continuing?

Working Harder or Working Differently?

Think about how much has changed in our business over the past several years.

There was a time, not that long ago, when houses were selling quickly, buyers were competing for properties, and opportunities seemed to come from everywhere. It wasn't necessarily easy, but the market created momentum that many agents had never experienced before.

Today's market requires different conversations, more intentional follow-up, and a willingness to reconsider how we're doing business.

Yet changing the way we work isn't always comfortable.

Some agents are still hoping the strategies that worked a few years ago will produce the same results today. Others are trying one new idea after another, hoping something will finally make the difference.

And some are simply tired.

They've invested time and money in training. They've heard the motivational messages. They know they need to make changes, but the thought of learning another system or adding another responsibility feels exhausting.

In my coaching conversations, I often hear, "I don't have the time," or "I don't have the energy."

I understand those feelings. And I wonder whether, sometimes, the issue isn't a lack of energy as much as the weight of everything they believe they need to do.

Could it be possible that you don't need to do more? You need to become clearer about what deserves your attention.

Clarity Changes the Starting Point

One of the things I've learned through my training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, life coaching, and Exactly What to Say® is the importance of understanding how someone sees their situation before offering solutions.

It's easy to become what I call an advice monster, especially when we have experience and genuinely want to help.

But people do things for their reasons, not ours.

When I'm working with an agent who feels stuck, we don't begin with another list of lead-generation strategies.

We begin with questions.

What's your number-one source of business? Are those the people you genuinely enjoy working with? What would it look like to strengthen the relationships you already have?

Sometimes the answer is sitting right there in their database.

People they've helped before. Clients who trust them. Friends, family, and advocates who already know the value they bring.

And instead of building an entirely new system, perhaps the opportunity is to strengthen an existing one, or finally begin using the one they've been meaning to implement.

This isn't about finding an easy button. There isn't one.

It's about recognizing that when you know what matters most, you can make a decision about where to begin.

The First Step Doesn't Have to Be a Big One

Here's something I've noticed when agents begin reconnecting with the people they genuinely enjoy.

The conversations often feel different from what they were anticipating.

Instead of worrying about what to say or whether they're bothering someone, they're catching up with people they know and care about. They're listening, learning what's happening in their lives, and finding opportunities to be helpful.

And something begins to change.

They have a positive conversation. Then another. They remember why they enjoyed building relationships in the first place.

Their confidence begins to return, even before the next transaction appears.

Research supports the value of this kind of progress.

Harvard Business School researcher Teresa Amabile and her colleague Steven Kramer found that making progress on meaningful work, including small accomplishments, is closely connected to motivation and positive emotions.

That matters because we often assume we need to feel motivated before taking action.

But sometimes taking a meaningful action is what helps us begin to feel motivated again.

One conversation won't transform your business overnight. But one conversation can make the next one easier.

And when those conversations become consistent, you're building something much more valuable than a temporary burst of enthusiasm.

You're building momentum.

Returning to Real

We're surrounded by technology promising to help us generate leads, automate conversations, and grow our businesses faster.

Some of those tools can be useful. I believe technology, including AI, can help us work more effectively when we use it thoughtfully.

But there's something I don't want us to lose in the process.

Our humanity.

Real estate is a relationship business. People want to work with someone they trust, someone who listens, understands what's important to them, and helps them make decisions that serve their interests.

An automated message may begin an interaction. It doesn't automatically create a meaningful relationship.

And when you're feeling pressure to find the next deal, it's tempting to chase whatever new strategy promises the quickest results.

Before making that investment, perhaps there's a better question.

How open-minded would you be to building on the relationships you already have before chasing another source of business?

You may discover that the opportunity isn't somewhere new. It may be with the people who already trust you.

Consistency Is Where the Work Happens

Of course, knowing what to do and consistently doing it are two different things.

This is where resilience still matters.

There will be days when you don't feel like making the calls, having the conversations, or following through on the commitments you've made to yourself.

That's why I believe in setting standards rather than relying on motivation.

Decide what you're willing to commit to. Make it manageable. Put it on your calendar, and surround yourself with people who will encourage you and hold you accountable.

Research on implementation intentions, sometimes called if-then planning, has found that specifying when, where, and how you'll act can improve the likelihood of following through on a goal.

In other words, "I'm going to reconnect with my database" is a good intention.

"Every Wednesday morning, I'm going to have meaningful conversations with five people I enjoy" gives that intention a place in your week.

The number isn't what's important. The commitment is.

And if you miss a week, you haven't failed. You have an opportunity to decide again.

Consistency takes practice. Having a supportive community makes it easier to continue when the initial excitement wears off.

What Are You Working Toward?

There's one more part of this conversation that matters to me.

I've spent much of my career helping people build successful businesses. And I've learned, through my own experiences as well as those of my clients, that success means very little if the business you're building doesn't support the life you want to live.

More transactions aren't necessarily the answer. Neither is a bigger team, another lead source, or a calendar filled with activities you dread.

What matters is understanding what you really want and building a business that can support it.

That begins with clarity.

Then comes a decision, focused action, and the willingness to take another step.

You may be tired. You may be questioning whether you can still succeed in this market. You may feel as though everyone else has figured something out that you've missed.

But your experience still matters. The relationships you've built still matter. And you don't have to figure out your next chapter alone.

Resilience may help you keep going. Clarity helps you decide where you're going, and whether the path you're on will take you there.

If you're unsure where to begin, my complimentary What's Getting in the Way? assessment can help you identify which area of your business deserves attention first. A conversation with someone you trust can also help you see possibilities that are difficult to recognize when you're feeling overwhelmed.

You don't need to change everything today.

Out of curiosity, what's the one thing that, if you gave it your attention and followed through consistently, could begin changing your business and the way you feel about it?

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Chris Ruszkiewicz is an Exactly What to Say® Certified Guide and the founder of CMR Coaching & Consulting, a founding partner of Keller Williams Realty Milwaukee, and an Executive Business Coach with 32 years of experience in sales, negotiation, and leadership.