What If You’re Not Afraid of the Call? You’re Afraid of Not Knowing What to Say.

Have you ever looked at your list of people to call, fully intending to make the calls, and somehow found yourself doing almost anything else?

Maybe you answered a few emails first. Took care of something that suddenly seemed important. Sent a text instead. Or moved the names to tomorrow's list with every intention of doing it then.

And if someone asked you why you didn't make the calls, would your answer be something like one I hear all the time?

“I don't know why I don't do it.”

I believe you.

Because after all these years in real estate, I'm not convinced this is as simple as discipline.

What if there's something else going on?

Maybe It's Worth Getting Curious About

Could it be possible you're worried about bothering them?

Could it be possible you don't want the person answering the phone to think, Here comes another real estate agent looking for business?

Maybe you've had enough people not answer, not call back, or tell you they're not interested that there's a little fear of rejection mixed in there too.

Or perhaps it's much simpler.

What are you going to say when they answer?

That's a different question, isn't it?

Especially when these aren't necessarily strangers. These may be people you've known for years. People you've helped buy or sell a home. People whose families you know. People you genuinely care about.

So why can calling them still feel uncomfortable?

I've been thinking about that question a lot lately.

What If You Started With Why You're Calling?

Think about a few people in your database right now.

Not leads. People.

What do you know about them?

Maybe the last time you talked, they were planning a cruise. Wouldn't you genuinely like to know if they went and how it was?

Maybe their home anniversary is coming up. Maybe there's a client event you think they'd enjoy. Perhaps you drove through their neighborhood recently and wondered whether they're still loving the house you helped them buy.

Or maybe there really is something useful you can offer.

An updated equity analysis isn't simply about whether someone wants to sell. Knowing the current value of their home can help them think about whether they have enough homeowner's insurance, whether their equity could help them pay off other debt, or whether a remodel or needed repair makes financial sense.

None of those conversations need to begin with:

Are you thinking about buying or selling?

So what happens if we stop thinking about the person on our list as someone we're supposed to get business from and remember why they're on our list in the first place?

We know them.

And in many cases, we care about them.

Does that change how the call feels?

Maybe.

But there's still that other question.

What do I say?

I Know That Feeling

When I started selling real estate, we called people in the phone book.

Yes, the actual phone book.

And if you're imagining that I picked up the phone on day one feeling completely comfortable talking to people I didn't know, you would be very wrong.

I was incredibly uncomfortable.

What changed wasn't that I woke up one morning with more courage. I went through seven weeks of training. I began to have a better idea of what to say, and I started calling people I knew.

The more conversations I had, the more confident I became.

I've watched that same thing happen with people I've coached.

One longtime client hesitated for months to make calls. They knew they should be doing it. Knowing didn't make it any easier.

After learning Exactly What to Say® and practicing, they decided to start with one call a day.

One.

They did that for a week. The next week they made three calls a day. Then five.

Was the important part that they eventually got to five?

I don't think so.

I think the interesting part is what happened before the first one.

They learned. They practiced. Then they began.

What If Confidence Doesn't Have to Come First?

This is where I'd invite you to think differently about a call you've been avoiding.

Can you remember a time when you didn't really want to make a call, made it anyway, and ended up having a great conversation?

How did you feel afterward?

And was the next call quite as difficult as the first?

One of the foundational principles of Exactly What to Say® is that the worst time to think about what you're going to say is in the moment you're saying it.

Yet think about what we sometimes ask ourselves to do.

Look at a name. Pick up the phone. Figure out what we're going to say. Hope it doesn't sound salesy. Hope we're not bothering them. Hope they don't reject us.

And somehow feel confident while we're doing all of that.

What if confidence doesn't have to come first?

What if knowing why you're calling, learning what to say and having an opportunity to practice could help you feel comfortable enough to begin?

Not fearless.

Not perfectly confident.

Comfortable enough to make one call.

Maybe This Isn't Something You Have to Figure Out Alone

If you've been telling yourself, I really need to get better about making my calls, what if you stopped there for a minute?

Instead of asking:

Why can't I make myself do this?

What if you asked:

What would help me feel more comfortable doing it?

Would it help to have a meaningful reason for the conversation before you dial?

Would it help to know how to open without feeling salesy?

Would it help to have questions you're comfortable asking?

Would practicing the conversation before you're actually in it make that first call feel a little different?

Maybe the answer isn't another call goal.

And maybe there isn't anything particularly unusual about feeling uncomfortable. I've been there. I've watched experienced, successful agents wrestle with it. And I've watched what can happen when they stop expecting themselves to somehow become confident first and start learning how to become more prepared.

Because if what you really want is to feel comfortable calling the people you care about, you don't have to figure out how to get there by yourself.

So, out of curiosity, who is one person you've been meaning to call, and what might become possible if you felt prepared enough to finally make it?